How police plan to drive away drunken youths
Before I became a Grumpy Old Man I was a Grumpy Middle-Aged Man and lived in New York. Now New York is the greatest city in the world but there was always plenty to be grumpy about – in particular, in those days, young guys walking around with suitcase-sized radios on their shoulders known as ghetto-blasters. The noise they emitted was painful.

Invisible death ray
Grumbling about this one day in a chintzy caf in Brooklyn Heights, a fellow grump confided his private fantasy to me: That he should be invested with the power to direct an invisible death ray at these noise machines and blow them to smithereens. Heh heh heh!

Guiltily, I confessed my own fantasy, a subtler one I like to think: I would direct a sonic ray that would turn the radio’s output solely to high-decibel Wagner. Imagine the guy frantically twiddling knobs and fruitlessly changing stations as the Ride of the Valkyries blasted remorselessly over Borough Hall or the prelude to Das Rheingold crescendoed over the East River - double basses then bassoons, add horns, now cellos, finally woodwinds - all four and a half minutes of it and when it ended, why, starting all over again!

Virginal America
Incidentally, if you want to hear that delicious music, look out for Terence Malick’s movie about virginal America, The New World. You will already be familiar with the Valkyries from the helicopter scene in the Vietnam war movie, Apocalypse Now.

Wagner was never one to write a single note when a hundred would do and his famous Ring cycle of operas lasts 16 hours and involves gods, humans, goblins, dwarfs, giants and three maidens who live under water. The American comedienne, Rosalind Russell, in an effort to explain Das Rheingold, would say, "This opera begins in the River Rhine (pause) in the River Rhine."

Ros Russell also had a hilarious routine explaining the apparent absurdities of cricket, but that is not to say this clever and subtle game does not reward its players, just as Wagner returns devotion a thousandfold. But back to business –

A variation on our noise wrecking fantasy has become reality, it seems. Scientists have developed a device known as The Mosquito which emits a piercing ultra-sonic tone and police are installing it at shops and public places to drive away young drunks and hooligans.

The amazing thing about this machine is that it targets the most unruly section of our population – teenagers. Age-related hearing loss, or presbycusis, begins around the age of 18 and first affects the highest frequencies – 18 to 20 kHz. It is, therefore, possible to generate a high-frequency sound that is audible only to teenagers and young adults – they hear a high-pitched shrieking sound while the rest of us (and dogs) hear nothing.

The gadget has been tested in the south of England and proved successful in driving away groups of troublesome, beer-drinking teens. A spokesman for the Mosquito distributor said," The longer someone is exposed to the sound, the more annoying it becomes. Field trials have shown teenagers become acutely aware of the Mosquito and usually move away in a couple of minutes."

The device is part of a nationwide campaign to crack down on booze-fuelled youth disorder in the long summer evenings. Police are confident that giving the youngsters an earful will stop them hanging around liquor shops in the hope of persuading adults to buy them alcohol.

Most shopkeepers welcomed the Mosquito, though some have already developed their own tactics. Said newsagent Peter Davis, "I have CCTV up and that is useful but when a group of kids insisted on messing around I chucked a couple of buckets of water over them and I didn’t have any bother after that.

Author GERRY LOUGHRAN
Publication Sunday Nation, Kenya’s leading Sunday paper
Date 23 April 2006
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